But Against the System

"I do not fight against men, but against the system that is sexist."

Elfriede Jelinek

photograph via

Sexual Harassment in Educational Settings: Teachers as Victims and the Gendered Nature of the Problem

Sexual harassment and sexual violence in educational settings do not only target students but also teachers - or female staff in general. Men and boys are consistently found to be the main perpetruatros of sexual harassment and sexual violence which is linked to male ideas around gender and masculinity playing a crucial role. In addition, online pornography creates a "misguided representation" of individuals and sexual relationships, which again has an impact on young men and boys in particular. There is, in fact, an association between regular access to online pornography and violent sexual behaviour. Also, young men who use pornography are more likely to show negative attitudes to gender equality. Easy access to porn is said to have a "very corrosive impact within schools". 

Sending unwanted hardcore pornographic or nude images to girls in the corridor or to other students in class are some of the problems cited. According to a piece of research on nude image sharing, the scale of the problem is enormous and, at times, more than 5.000 responses is possible. The problem is difficult to tackle since the behaviour is also happening outside the school gates, on young people's mobile phones. 

One major challenge is the combination of two trends taking place at the same time: the mainstreaming of hardcore pornography and the digital revolution of the social world from which new kinds of digital-based abuse and violence emerge. This kind of abuse is also targeting teachers. One in twenty of the teachers taking part in a poll said that the misogyny they had experienced had been posted on social media. The posts showed the teachers' faces superimposed on pornographic images or upskirt pictures of teachers (via).

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photograph by Joseph Szabo (Barbara, 1977) via

The Times of Hyper-Masculine Car Adverts are Over

An online car sales site combined data gathered from a survey carried out among 2.000 car buyers with a study by a panel of 12 drivers (from all over the UK, age 18 to 64). The panel looked at adverts and reviews of brands such as BMW, Bentley, Ford and Jaguar and came to the conclusion that so-called hyper-masculine marketing is turning off both female and male consumers (via).

Since the start of car advertising, women have consistently been patronised, derided, or seen as merely objects for men to acquire, or an accessory. In the ’50s, Ford made coats and handbags designed to match cars, but only last year, Renault brought out nail polish to match the car – oh, and bonus, you can use it as a touch-up paint too. Us silly women are always scratching our cars while parking! Some of it may be slightly more subtle now, but it’s still there. Men go on epic adventures, winding along cool roads on exciting mountain passes in car adverts… women, they drive the kids to football practice, or go shopping in their pyjamas.
Rachael Hogg 

73% of Brits agree that car advertisements either personify gender stereotypes or only address men; luxury sports car brands are found most guilty (by 82%) of being presented as "too masculine" in ads. Small cars (including Fiat 500), on the other hand, are perceived to have the least masculine advertising. 68% of car buyers (77% of women, 58% of men) find gender stereotypes in car ads off-putting, 83% feel disconnected from car marketing, 76% of female drivers do not believe car brands understand women's car buying needs.

Asked about advertising in general, i.e., in all industries, 52% said they found hyper-masculine advertisements patronising, 45% thought the ideals of men and women portrayed were impossible to live up to, 59% believed that they reinforce gender stereotypes that no longer reflect how men and women see society (via). The times of hyper-masculine car adverts are - or should be - over. 

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photograph by Claude Nori via

Women Are Teachers. Men Are Professors.

Abstract: Sociology students' perceptions of their instructors' educational attainment levels are examined empirically. We find gender disparities: students misattribute in an upward direction the level of education actually attained by male graduate student instructors, while they misattribute in a downward direction the level of formal education attained by women, even when the female faculty member is a full professor.

The misattributions are linked to the imputed statuses "teacher" for women, and "professor" for men, regardless of the actual positions held or the credentials earned by faculty members and graduate student instructors. We suggest that a process of marginalization explains the empirical findings--a process that is attributed by others, but chosen by the self, regardless of the social and economic costs incurred. Consequences for students and sociology professors are discussed. (Miller & Chamberlin, 2000)

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- Miller, J. & Chamberlin, M. (2000). Women Are Teachers, Men Are Professors: A Study of Student Perceptions. Teaching Sociology, 28(4), link

- photograph by Joseph Szabo via

Lunar Geisha. By Michelle Watt.

When Michelle Watt was four, her family left China and moved to the US where she grew up. As a young woman, Watt bar-tendered for a couple of years in New York and experienced what it means to be turned into the fetishised Asian woman. 

It happens still to this day, but you know how you’re treated as a young woman behind a bar. You’re like a baby sheep in a pack of wolves. And my Asianness kept coming up as a way in for them. Michelle Watt

Michelle Watt's reaction was to create "Lunar Geisha", surrealistic compositions, a portrait series of a Geisha, the metaphor for the hypersexualised Asian woman. In her photographs, Watt also symbolises the "good daughter" within Asian society and the object of desire within the US-American one (via). The series explores how Asian women "are thrust into playing certain roles, the ways in which they become complicit in those stereotypes and the ways in which they rebel against them" (via).

It’s not really an inspiration as much as it’s a compulsion to work it out. Deconstructing it through staging and storytelling and narrative in these symbolic ways ends up being a really healing way of dealing with those things.
Michelle Watt

“I wanted to show how, even within Asian society, women are forced to play roles in ways that they may not necessarily want to; roles that may often be silencing them. And how – in order to fit in, in order to find a sense of belonging – we betray ourselves, and we play along.”
Michelle Watt

“Am I being hired because I’m being used as a token? Is that okay? Am I going to fight that? It’s complicated. I always feel like I’m asking these questions.”
Michelle Watts

“I crave things like belonging and love. I want to feel like I’m attractive and to have that validated by men — or by anyone. And so I’ve been complicit in fulfilling these stereotypes in order to gain the favour of others. But the first step of breaking any sort of bad behaviour or habit is to recognise it. So making stories like this helps me address that.”
Michelle Watt

“It’s complicated because you want to play that part because you want to belong somewhere. But you also don’t really like that part, so you don’t really want to play the part. That’s kind of confusing. Codependency is a huge theme there.”
Michelle Watts

photographs via and via

Margarete Schütte-Lihotzky's Frankfurt Kitchen

"They thought that I would starve to death. Nobody could imagine hiring a woman to build a house in 1916 — not even myself."

Margarete Schütte-Lihotzky

Schütte-Lihotzky (1897-2000) was born in Vienna and became the first female student of the so-called Kunstgewerbeschule, now known as the University of Applied Arts Vienna. As a student she worked on projects on affordable housing for the working class and decided to dedicate her career to reducing some burdens through efficient residential design. In an early project of hers, she designed flats for single, working women. 

When the social housing development programme "New Frankfurt" was launched in the German city of Frankfurt, Schütte-Lihotzky was invited to join - which she did creating her magnum opus, the first fitted kitchen, the "Frankfurt Kitchen" (aged 101, she said: "If I had known that everyone would keep talking about nothing else, I would never have built that damn kitchen!"). With this kitchen she aimed to make life easier for those (mainly women) using it. At the time, kitchens in working-class housing were part of the living room which often also served as a bedroom. The separated kitchen was small but efficient, the efficiency was drawn from kitchens in scientific laboratories and railway cars. The design was also based on interviews with housewives and time-motion studies of their work to reduce the number of steps needed to be taken between different tasks. About 10.000 of these kitchens were built in Frankfurt alone. Later, feminists linked Schütte-Lihotzky with the subjugation of women by the kitchen. Schütte-Lihotzky, however, wanted to reduce the hours and burden of women's unpaid labour at home: 

"I was convinced that the economic independence and self-realization of women would be a common good, and that therefore the further rationalization of household labor was imperative."

Margarete Schütte-Lihotzky

Schütte-Lihotzky was an ardent antifascist who joined the resistance against the Nazis. She was imprisoned in 1941 and sentenced to death but was lucky and returned to Vienna after the liberation in 1945 (via).

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photographs of Schütte-Lihotzky in her home via and via and via

Tennis, Unstable Girls, Sexist Comments and Questions

"You know, the girls, they are more unstable emotionally than us. I'm sure everybody will say it's true, even the girls. … No? No, you don't think? But, I mean, it's just about hormones and all this stuff. We don't have all these bad things, so we are physically in a good shape every time, and you are not. That's it."

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga

"Hopefully they're (his sisters) not going to pursue a professional tennis career. Hopefully, because for a woman, it's tough. I wouldn't like my sisters to become professional tennis players. It's tough choice of life. A woman needs to enjoy life a little bit more. Needs to think about family, needs to think about kids. What kids you can think about until age of 27 if you're playing professional tennis, you know. That's tough for a woman, I think."

Ernests Gulbis

“As a woman, you start getting to a certain age, hitting certain milestones and then it is straightaway assumed – ‘okay, well, when’s the baby coming?’ I’m not sure they’re asking Rafa Nadal when was finally going to marry his girlfriend before he did, or when he is going to have kids.

 I don’t think it’s done with any harm, but it would be nice to talk about my career and things like that – like my male counterparts in the sport. 

One, it’s a very personal decision and, you know, I think it can be a bit insensitive, especially for people who maybe don’t want to have children, or have other difficulties.

I think it was unfortunate that I was asked such questions, but I was not alone in that. And while our tennis press is mainly made up of middle-aged men, I think the questions are going to be catered so.” 

Johanna Konta

"After games us women still receive provocative comments on social media. I doubt that is the case for those on the men's tour. Our outfits are discussed, and how we wear our hair."

Andrea Petkovic

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photograph via

"John Rennon's Excrusive Gloupie"

She is known as an artist but - perhaps even more - as the woman who broke up the Beatles:. In an interview, Ono offers a different perspective: “I was used as a scapegoat, a very easy scapegoat. You know, a Japanese woman and whatever.”
“You think some of it was sexism, racism?” 
“Sexism, racism. But also just remember that the United States and Britain were fighting with Japan in World War II. It was just after that in a way so I can understand how they felt.” (via). An Esquire magazine article published in 1970 used racist language to mock her accent and called her "John Rennon's Excrusive Gloupie".

 

photograph of Yoko Ono via

"... not a one-size-fits-all phenomenon."

"Sexism isn't a one-size-fits-all phenomenon. It doesn't happen to black and white women the same way."
Kimberle Williams Crenshaw

 

photograph by Joel Meyerowitz via

"I Don't Hate All Women..." Incels, Porn, and Misogyny

"I dont hate indian women as a whole. Only those disrespectful stuck up b*tches; I don’t hate all women but modern Western women; I don’t hate women just hate feminists and sl*ts."



"This article seeks to establish the connection—via shared discourse—between those who identify as involuntary celibates online (henceforth Incels) and mainstream pornography. Using an interdisciplinary approach involving linguistic analysis of Reddit forum data—more precisely the r/incels Subreddit—informed by research into digital behaviors and feminist analysis, we demonstrate how both mainstream pornography and Incels are different manifestations of the same deep-rooted misogyny, enabled and exacerbated by contemporary technologies. It is not the aim of this article to establish a causal link between the watching of pornography and negative behavioral change, nor is it our intention to cast judgments on people’s sexual practices. We want to move beyond a simplistic pro-porn or anti-porn dichotomy that discourages debate, and instead provide evidence of its commonalities with other practices that are more often seen as aspects of the ongoing normalization of violence against women (VAW) and whose misogynistic nature, therefore, tends to be taken more seriously."

Some results (excerpts):

Women are one homogeneous group.

"(...) the discussion of the success of obese women (as opposed to Incels) in finding (sexual) partners. This view is often supported by pseudo-scientific facts and dubious external data, suggesting that women, unlike men, are in high (sexual) demand and, therefore, even women who appear low on the “attractiveness scale” will find a (sexual) partner, while men who are not at the top of this scale are condemned to a life of celibacy. This is expressed clearly by one of the users on the forum: There are many males that have literally zero options. [There is strong demand for even the ugliest of women.] (link to sluthate.com). The top 20% of men get the top 80% of the women, and the bottom 80% of men fight like dogs over the remaining 20% of women. This is why in a sexually free society, even the ugliest most deformed obese women can get males of average attractiveness. In this system, women are the gatekeepers of sex, while Incels are their victims. As shown in the following, it is particularly feminism—with the sexual liberation of women—that Incels blame for their misery."

(...) women are often talked about in terms of what happens in their minds, rather than in terms of their actions in the external world. Thus, despite their factual and pseudo-scientific tone, these discussions are speculative, particularly when they occur alongside aggregation (e.g., Because the majority of modern women don’t want a loving boyfriend). These conjectures often revolve around the type of men that women are supposedly attracted to (e.g., Women don’t like ugly men who aren’t rich, because they aren’t good providers), or around women’s sexuality, including the suggestion that women enjoy abusive relationships and aggressive sex.

"Like in pornography, where the tendency is for female performers not to say “no,” but to show pleasure when subjected to physical aggression, Incels believe that aggression and female pleasure are connected (e.g., Most women don’t like it soft: they like it rough, hard, and deep)."

"Scholars (Jensen, 2011; Makin & Morczek, 2015) have suggested that mainstream pornography—with its unceasing exploitation of women—encourages the acceptance and propagation of “rape culture,” (...). Some comments on r/incels show that this is not just a prerogative of pornography: But the deal is that they start liking it in the middle of the act or follow the guy around later like puppies on a leash. So rape is what modern Western women want."

"(...) the most frequent attributes for women: whores, people, and sluts. The specifically sexually derogatory nature of this language is worth noting, as r/incels (like pornography) appears to be a site of constant (re)production of ways to linguistically degrade and objectify women. For example, Incels refer to women as cumdump, cumrags, or twatrags—a term that indicates an old garment used to clean up bodily fluids following ejaculation. Another way in which Incels use sex to linguistically dehumanize women is through verbs that are normally applied to things such as soil or roads (e.g., a 30yo woman who has been plowed by 150 different cocks). The verb plow here, in addition to normally being applied to inanimate objects, also suggests violence (e.g., fields are plowed with sharp objects). The implication is not only that women are objects to be treated aggressively but also that the penis is a powerful weapon to be used against them. This discussion of women as objects used for sex or as receptacles of men’s penises and semen (dumpsters, holes, tubes) recalls some of the most popular images of mainstream pornography (...)."

"Incels also dehumanize women by referring to them as objects, female humanoid organisms (or femoids) or animals, as shown by metaphors such as women are fucking animals, women are shallow creatures, women are toxic wild beasts. Perhaps the strongest indicator of the propensity of Incels not to see women as human beings is the frequent reminder on r/incels that women are people (e.g., women are people literally just like you). Arguably, the very need to state the obvious, that is, that women are people, is an intertextual reference to the common presupposition among Incels that women are something else (animals, objects, holes, containers). The dehumanization of women (for sexual pleasure) is part and parcel of “rape culture” (Jensen, 2011) and a major feature of mainstream pornography."

"This sense of entitlement to and understanding of women’s bodies as objects (that must be obtained) also appears in the ways in which FORCE is used. While many users do not explicitly encourage forcing women to have sex or be in relationships with them, the discussion of the obvious suggests, again, that this is indeed a possibility for Incels. In fact, not forcing women is often linked to their inability, rather than their unwillingness, to do so (e.g., I cannot force a woman to desire me or have sex with me so essentially I am screwed). Women are once again positioned as gatekeepers of sex and, consequently, of Incels’ happiness. Incels, in contrast, are the victims: constantly starved for sex and fighting other men to gain access to women’s bodies that are scarcely available (to Incels)."

"The specific hatred for feminists is also shown by the fact that feminist is more often associated with (sexually) derogatory language than woman. (...) feminist is similar to words such as whore, bitch, cuck, slut, idiot, cunt, while woman is more similar to words like people, man, girl, guy, female, person. The type of abusive language that one may expect to find on the forum does not target women in general; it tends to be specifically directed toward feminists, who receive insults for their “promiscuity.”"

"What Incels really hate—and what they blame feminists for—is women who refuse them, women who sleep with several men but say “no” to Incels. It is these women who receive most online (sexualized) abuse (Lewis et al., 2017), arguably in an attempt to control them through silencing. This generates a paradoxical situation, in which derogatory terms that refer to “promiscuous” women are not being used for women who participate in sexual acts with numerous men, but for women who say “no.”"

"Like in offline sexualized violence, for Incels too sex is the chosen weapon to express the hatred and revenge that women “deserve” for rejecting them and choosing aggressive alpha men instead."

"The issue, therefore, is a broader one and a cultural one; neither Incel ideology nor mainstream pornography should be problematized separately or insulated from discussions of women’s equality, because these practices are not detached from other forms of misogyny but are an extension of these and symptoms of structural misogyny. Neither pornography nor Incels created misogyny, but misogyny underlies and correlates both practices, which, therefore, should be understood as part of a “networked misogyny” (Banet-Weiser & Miltner, 2016) that, separately or cumulatively, causes harm and is not limited to the online world. While the internet, as a “site of social and cultural reproduction that reflects real-world patterns” (Lewis et al., 2017, p. 1464), enables the exponential replication of misogyny by inventing, spreading, and reproducing techniques to attack women (online and offline), online misogyny is not a product of the technology, but a result of the society that shaped it."

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- Tranchese, A. & Sugiura, L. (2021). “I Don’t Hate All Women, Just Those Stuck-Up Bitches”: How Incels and Mainstream Pornography Speak the Same Extreme Language of Misogyny. Violence Against Women, 27(14), 2709-2734; link

- photographs by Susan Meiselas via and via 

Dear ladies, please just disappear.

According to a British survey carried out among 2.000 women(!) aged 18 to 65 by Retire Savvy and commissioned by Diet Chef, women believe miniskirts would be a "no-no" for anyone aged 35 or more. Once you hit 36, text talk is no longer acceptable, 38, no tattoo, 39, no infamous night-club hotspots, 40, no see-through chiffon blouse, no holidays without family or partner, 41, no longer watching reality TV, 42, don't wear a football shirt, 44, no trainers (unless for sport), no discos, 45, no leggings, no Ugg boots, no more festivals, 47, no knee high boots, no bikini, no skinny jeans, no twitter, 49, delete your facebook profile, 51, no high heels, 51, no ponytail, 52, no longer staying out past midnight, 53, no long hair, 61, no swimsuit (via and via).

One in ten bought clothes and soon took them back to the shop fearing it was "too young" for them, 5% said they had been warned by a shop assistant the item was not right for their age. Women also often hear warning from friends and family (via and via and via).

Bollocks. After 43 you should walk past the queues of nightclubs, shoulders back, chest out – tits and teeth. Stride up to the bouncer and shake his hand. (...) And I couldn’t give a toss what people think. Although my grandson told me I was too old to wear Adidas Stan Smiths, while two Romanians stopped me in the toilets to shake my hand because I‘m 'DFC' – dead fucking cool. Confidentials's Gordo

In an article, published in The Guardian, Emma Soames claims that women lose their instinct for knowing what suits them as they get older. I think we should be more careful with these ideas and reflect on where they come from and what impact they have before selling them as facts. On the contrary, perhaps style is something that needs time to develop and people dress better the older they get. And, surely, there is one major issue Ms Soames is not seeing: People are judged mildly, if at all, for wearing "not suitable" clothes when young and judged more harshly when older. Since women's "fashion antennae just shrivel with age", she continues, they need "some sartorial rules". The first one: You need to dress "appropriately", avoid the ultra feminine and the very short, dress classically (via). 

No long hair, no high heels, no Ibiza, no facebook, no swimsuit... The message? Don't look like a woman, don't be active, don't have fun, don't go out. Just hide. Don't irritate with your presence. You no longer have a gender, you are either female or old. Dress in an age-appropriate manner and act your age by being invisible. That is the only way to age gracefully, by disappearing. We definitely still have a long way to go when it comes to raising awareness about the absurdities of internalised ageism.

photograph by Leon Levinstein via

Pudding. Of course. If you are a female assistant vice president.

The "congratulations dear, but exactly what does an assistant vice president do?" Pudding.



image via 

"...instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself."

Often a wife fails to realize that doubts due to one intimate neglect shut her out from happy married love.



A man marries a woman because he loves her. So instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself. Is she truly trying to keep her husband and herself eager, happy married lovers? One most effective way to safeguard her dainty feminine allure is by practicing complete feminine hygiene as provided by vaginal douches with a scientifically correct preparation like "Lysol". So easy a way to keep married lovers apart.
(...) You, too, can rely on "Lysol" to help protect your married happiness...keep you desirable!

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image via

The Blonde Cave Dweller: Two Explorers, Similar Experiences, Different Media Coverage.

There have been several experiments to study the effects of isolation on humans (biological rhythms, eating and sleeping patterns, etc.), some of them carried out in caves, and one of them in the French Alps in 1965. That time, Antoine Senni (male record of 126 days) and Josie Laures (female record of 88 days) spent a long time in different caves, each in complete isolation and loneliness (via and via).



While their experiences were rather similar, media coverage made a difference. Antoine Senni became "the forgotten man", media focused on "pretty Josy Laures" who "got all the publicity". In an article, they were described as "a blonde, dark-eyed girl of 26 and a 35-year-old furniture". manufacturer." One article was titled "Blonde Cave Dweller Out of Hospital". A video news report comes to the conclusion: "If the resulting data helps astronauts, Josie will be proud to have been a guinea pig in space exploration. Her boyfriends hope it’ll be for the last time." (via)

After Laures spent some time in Paris getting medical tests, the Tribune reported that she had “fully recovered from her ordeal, tho she has not yet lost extra weight she put on while in the cave.” And if you’re thinking “Well, that’s rude, but maybe it’s relevant, since the experiment was to test the physical and mental effects of isolation,” another article reveals that the “extra weight” she put on was a mere four pounds. No word on the fluctuation of Senni’s weight in the cave.

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photograph via

You're beautiful. You know from girl things. Like cooking. And sewing. And smelling nice.

You're beautiful. You know from girl things. Like cooking. And sewing. And smelling nice. And looking in mirrors. But football? So, all day Sunday, he takes his six-pack, plants his highness in fornt of the TV and watches those overgrown goots run into each other. And you've got nothing to do but talk to the other football widows on the phone.



image via

It's nice to a have a girl's head under your foot.

Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn't have to fire a shot to floor her. After one look at his Mr Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her. That noble style sure soothes the savage heart! If you'd like your own doll-to-doll carpeting, hunt up a pair of these he-man Mr. Leggs slacks. Such as our new automatic wash-wear blend of 65% "Dacron" and 35% rayon - incomparably wrinkle-resistant.



A display of affection is great ... but enough is enough. She couldn't keep her hands off him. Always the little hugs, the pats on the cheek. Sly pinches. It could drive a man to the licence bureau. It all began when he wore his first pair of Mr. Leggs Slacks, tailored by Thomson. But he kept his head; now everything's under control. Why don't you try a pair of Mr. Leggs ... and get ready to dig.
FREE! Does your girl have perfect legs? ...



- images via and via, more ads: link and link

How Hot are Women with Rectovaginal Endometriosis? Yes, This Study Has Been Published.

The official objective of this study? "To evaluate physical attractiveness in women with and without endometriosis". Implications? Clinical utility? Contribution to medical science? None. Interventions? "Assessment of attractiveness by four independent female and male observers." Conclusions? "Women with rectovaginal endometriosis were judged to be more attractive than those in the two control groups. Moreover, they had a leaner silhouette, larger breasts, and an earlier coitarche."



Yes, this bunch of sexists seriously started judging female patients's attractiveness based on vulgar criteria, asked them about their first intercourse, checked their body mass index, waist-to-hip-ratio and breast-to-underbreast-ratio. Inclusion criteria were e.g. age between 20 and 40 and Caucasian origin. The subjects were asked to complete a questionnaire investigating general information in the first part and sexual history and sexual habits in the second part (62 refused to compile the sexual part of the questionnaire). Since this was not awkward enough, women afterwards "underwent a physical examination by the two trained physicians, including weight and height assessment, measurement of hip, waist, breast and underbreast circumferences. Once this overall evaluation was completed, other four different physicians (...) gave a judgment, based on direct evaluation, on patient attractiveness on a 5-point rating scale (5 = very attractive; 4 = rather attractive; 3 = averagely attractive; 2 = little attractive; 1 = not at all attractive)". On the basis of the mean scores, three categories were defined: very/rather attractive, averagely attractive, little/not at all attractive (29 were unwilling to undergo physical assessment). The would-be scientists "found out" that women with rectovaginal endometriosis had a significantly higher breast-to-underbreast ratio, leaner silhouette, larger breasts, earlier coitarche, and appeared more attractive than those with peritoneal and/or ovarian endometriosis, as well as those without endometriosis. And yes, this "study" is truly gross.

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- Vercellini, P., Buggio, L, Somigliana, E., Barbara G., Viganò, P. & Fedele, L. (2013). Attractiveness of women with rectovaginal endometriosis: a case-control study. Fertility and Sterility, 99(1), 212-218.
- photograph by the amazing Vivian Maier (Chicago, 1961) via

Be a Lady, They Said.

Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves. Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.



Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. You need to lose weight. Fit into that dress. Go on a diet. Watch what you eat. Eat celery. Chew gum. Drink lots of water. You have to fit into those jeans. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Eat a burger. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be small. Be light. Be little. Be petite. Be feminine. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Colour your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so uptight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife someday. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will someday. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said.

text by Camille Rainville

At a really passionate moment, call her "Mommy"

Say that your mother, the interior decorator, must live with you.
Insist that she walk three paces behind you.
Ask her if she minds your spending one evening a week with your first wife.
Make a pass at her mother. Her father?



image via

Chess: Men Think, Women Feel

A widely held prejudice is that men are better at playing chess as the "female brain" is not really the most suitable organ for thinking strategically. Women are a "chess minority" because they are too much focused on harmony to compete, not willing to spend time on improving (via), because of the male image chess has and because girls and boys are brought up differently (via). In other words, men perform better because they use calculations to win, women use their intuition (via and via) or distracting low-cut necklines, hence the dresscode introduced in 2012 saying that only the two top buttons may be undone (via).

Chess is heavily male dominated both in terms of the absolute number of male players and in terms of male representation among the best chess players. The stereotypical chess grandmaster is undeniably a man, and – due to the face-to-face nature of tournament play – it is difficult for gender not to be salient when a female chess player competes with man.
Stafford (n.d.:3)

In his analysis, Stafford used data from 5.5 million international chess tournaments and came to the conclusion that "women players outperfrom expectations when playing men" and that the "question of under-representation of women in chess remains unsolved" (Stafford, n.d.). Rothgerber and Wolsiefer (2013) analysed data from 12 scholastic chess tournaments (n = 200 girls aged 5 to 15) and concluded that particularly young "females performed worse than expected when playing against a male opponent" due to stereotype threat.

The first time male and female chess players competed against each other in Austria was in 2018. The decision was made aiming to promote women as - on the national level - they otherwise would only have a few female partners to play with (since there are not many women in chess) and have only limited opportunity to improve and train for the Olympics (via). Playing with male chess players (a much larger sample) is far more challenging (via). This is surely an improvement - in the 1980s, the German male national team received a gold ducat for winning, the female national team chocolate pralines (via).



- Rothgerber, H. & Wolsiefer, K. (2013). A naturalistic study of stereotype threat in young female chess players.
- Stafford, T. (n.d.). Female chess players outperform expectations when playing men; download
- images via and via and via