Friday 24 June 2016

How to convince your wife that a Volkswagen Station Wagon is the perfect vehicle

Do you have the right kind of wife for it?
Why won't your wife let you buy this wagon?
If you can sell her on this, you can sell her on anything.



DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT KIND OF WIFE FOR IT?

Can your wife bake her own bread?
Can she get a kid's leg stitched and not phone you at the office until it's all over?
Find something to talk about when the TV set goes on the blink?
Does she worry about the Bomb?
Make your neighbor's children whish that she were their mother?
Will she say "Yes" to a camping trip after 50 straight weeks of cooking?
Let your daughter keep a pet snake in the back yard?
Invite 13 people to dinner even though she only has service for 12?
Name a cat "Rover"?
Live another year without furniture and take a trip to Europe instead?
Let you give up your job with a smile?
And mean it?
Congratulations.



WHY WON'T YOUR WIFE LET YOU BUY THIS WAGON?

"It looks like a bus." "I wouldn't be caught dead in it."
Do these sound familiar? Your wife is not alone. It is hard to convince some women what sense the VW Sation Wagon makes.
Its chunky shape, for instance, allows it to hold more than the biggest conventional wagon. (Yet it is a good four feet shorter, and a lot less exasperating to park.)
She might like the easy way it loads. The side doors give her almost 16 sq. ft. for big supermarket bags, a baby carriage, etc.
The Volkswagen Station Wagon does not have to take anything lying down. She can cart home an antique chest, standing up. Or delicate trees from the nursery. (Wide things, too. It will hold an open playpen.)
She can comfortably pack in eight or more Scouts, with all their cook-out gear.
She can give the family some extra sun on the way to the beach. (Why no other station wagon has a sun-roof is a mystery.)
Even if the traffic is bumper to bumper on hot days, she will not have to worry about the radiator boiling over. There is no radiator, no water. (The Volkswagen engine is air cooled.)
She may get a kick out of beeping to the other women who drive VW Station Wagons. (They have a kind of private club.)
Or maybe she likes to see where she is going. (The VW wagon has incredible visibility on hills and curves.)
If these facts don't convince her, why not give up gracefully. (For this year, anyway.)



IF YOU CAN SELL HER ON THIS, YOU CAN SELL HER ON ANYTHING.

"Me? In that?"
When you take your wife to see the Volkswagen Station Wagon don't be surprised if you have to drag her.
"But it looks silly."
That's your first problem: you have to explain the flat face and square shape.
The front is flat because the engine is in the back. This eliminates a long hood and makes our wagon almost as easy to park as our sedan.
(There's only 9 inches difference.)
And the square shape holds almost twice as much as an everyday wagon. 170 cubic feet.
Once you coax her behind the wheel, be ready for something like this:
"But it's like sitting in a fishbowl."
She's right, it is. there are 21 windows. If she handles the family checkbook, you might show her a few numbers:
24 mpg on regular. 35.000 miles on tires. 4 pints of oil, not 4 quarts.
If you can sell your wife on the VW Station Wagon, consider yourself a star salesman.
We certainly will.

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images via and (1965) via and via

4 comments:

  1. Blog posting of the year. Find of the year. You never fail to make me smile. Congrats, Laura!

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    1. Thank you so much for your feedback that makes me smile. Cheers, Derek! :-)

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  2. No kidding? This was for real back in the day? Thanks for the first smile after the Brexit disaster.

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    1. Incredible. Both. The VW ad and (much more) Brexit...

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